Years ago, every New Year’s eve, I remember myself wondering if by next year I’d have someone to celebrate the New Year with. Any holiday, actually. I wasn’t sad or desperate or anything. I just really wanted to know when will be the time I’d have someone to jump with, toast with and hug come midnight.
Few years passed and I still had no one. I was fine. I was okay. Work was great and our family just overcame a difficult time. I was resting. I was content. But as they say, best things happen when you least expect the most.
I never officially met Kit. We never talked personally the three years we worked together at the same department. He was just that guy from the web team but the power of social media introduced us. We talked about random things in Facebook. He would like or reply to my tweets and Instagram posts, and I would return the favor. We still didn’t talk face to face. I remember smiling at him in our floor lobby when we crossed paths but he snubbed me. I still laugh about it until today.
Eventually, we did talk and our talks turned into dates. We had lunches and dinners, watched movies and talked through messaging apps. I don’t know what happened. I guess we clicked, everything fell into place and became a couple. That was three years ago. Honestly, I never expected us to last this long because I am simply a pessimist. Happiness, to me, always had a cost. It’s like great happiness is always followed by tragedy to maintain balance. I guess this is an exception.
Kit was the last guy I thought I’d love. Don’t get me wrong. It’s because of my issues, not his. I thought he was too good for me so my insecurities came out during our first few months together. I was always waiting for “The Talk”; for him to leave me because I was crazy and paranoid. But he didn’t. He stuck with me despite my doubts about him, about us and even about me. My self-doubts always affected him; whenever I felt inadequate, I always turn my frustrations on him and he’d get the brunt of my inis.
I often forget the things he does for me, from listening to my senseless ramblings to calming me down when I don’t get my way. He never forgets to take care of me. He gets worried if I don’t reply for hours after work because he knows that my drive from work to home is just 30 minutes. He tries to make me laugh with his corny jokes. Sometimes I don’t even laugh but he doesn’t get upset. He’s sweet that way.
College taught me that love is a decision, not a feeling. If that is the case, I’m really happy and lucky that Kit chose to love me. I only hope that I can make him feel how much I love him too. I’m not usually good with words and I don’t always make lambing but I really do love him. Thank you for always believing in me (I wouldn’t have tried Crossfit or Barre3 without you) and in us (for staying even when I told you to go). Thank you for assuring me that happiness doesn’t have a consequence.
Happy three years to us.